tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
