Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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