just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
