Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
