what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
