A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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