Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
