Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
