found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
