My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
