my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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