Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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