We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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