I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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