There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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