just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
