Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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