no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
