So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
