My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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