I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
