So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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