Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
