my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
