I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
