The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
