ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
