Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
