youre lurking in front of me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
