laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
