Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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