she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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