anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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