if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
