A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
