Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
