Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Michael Bay diarrhea
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
