Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This is classic penis vs brain.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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