she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
