I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
