dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How does one acquire holy water?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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