somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
