I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
