Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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