I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
