I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
