she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
