and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
