puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
