i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
