Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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