I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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