not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Randomize
