you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
not ubering you a puppy
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
